http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/2809327/Child-in-legal-black-hole

Probably just as well ,given that whilst the child has a loving family and all…there is no father figure and this would clearly be of a greater disadvantage than the parent wanting to have all those pesky legal rights one needs when illness and death and so on happen to get in the way.

Look, I don’t expect anyone to change their mind immediately just because someone cites some research. But don’t dismiss “the studies” out of hand because they (inconveniently) do not say what you were expecting them to say. At least have the grace to admit the evidence may not support your anecdotal views.

How does that differ from postulating that a gay couple who wants to have children is selfish, by definition? (And of course that implies that the only cases in which the arrangement can be anything other than selfish are heterosexual couples. Unless you’re saying that all adoptions are self-interested and selfish, but obviously you’re not.)

“I made no demand that my “point of view be treated with nothing but empathy and respect.”

Er… wasn’t that the nature of your first complaint to me? I questioned your premise and your response ended with “Perhaps you could develop some empathy for other people before spouting off like this.” Seemed a bit snippy from somebody who had just put forward, reluctantly as it may be, an argument in favour of a form of discrimination.

I’d decided to stay out of this, since my views have been fully canvassed, but what I’ve objected to most in this debate is the flagrant misrepresentation of what I said in the original piece. Nowhere did I claim that “when heterosexuals have children they’re being altruistic”. Nowhere did I say that when gays “aspire to” have children, they are being selfish. I quite understand the sometimes overpowering need that people of both sexes, whether gay or not, may have for a child. I did say that it was self-interested and selfish to plan to bring a child of either sex into a situation where it would grow up without a mum and a dad. I made no “demand” that my “point of view be treated with nothing but empathy and respect”. I was very well aware when I wrote this piece what the response would be. And it was indeed exactly what I had expected.

Is it you, Tom? I almost didn’t recognise you on account of that giant chip.

Perhaps I’m all the things you said. I still find it rather extraordinary that a thinking person could claim that when heterosexuals have children, they’re being altruistic, when gays aspire to, they’re being selfish, and demand that his point of view be treated with nothing but empathy and respect, on account of his painful personal experience of growing up without a father. Nobody dare suggest that by making that claim he’s inflicting pain on others, for he’s a sensitive soul, or dare mention the word homophobia, for he’s an enlightened man.

We should be demanding more of each other, don’t you think?