Just so you know, the above people you are talking about are MAF. Customs officers act as immigration officers processing your passport, and also have an area where they search bags looking for drugs etc, Customs are not in the slightest bit concerned with your food, that is MAF.

I find NZ Customs officers friendly and efficient, compared with overseas, despite the fact I have seen them be treated like check out chicks at Pak N Save by other travellers who forget they are speaking with fellow human beings and government officials. A little bit of common courtesy goes a long way and when I travel I find a hello and thankyou will suffice to ensure a pleasant and speedy exit from the airport.

Travelling can be stressful and you may be in a foul mood, but people need to remember that the customs officer in front of you has probably been at work longer than you have been on your flight from Australia or the islands, so tiredness is no excuse for rudeness from travellers.

Absolutely.

As to your second point, things would go faster if these sloths actually moved their arses (must be this week’s word) and helped people who aren’t weightlifters by profession, to lug their suitcases on to the conveyor belt. But as I watched this girl stand with her arms by her side as an elderly woman struggled to get her luggage onto the ramp, my blood boiled.

I’m not too worried, Ben. I think we were pretty nice to the New Zealand immigration people. That said, I don’t disagree with what you’ve said, other than your ‘most arrivals’. In almost 30 years of travelling round the world, we’ve seen very little evidence of the passenger behaviour you describe. Most people seem pretty nice.

But there are undoubtedly many assholes among the travelling public. I have no objection at all to the immigration officers giving them short shrift. But when saintly and angelic people like Judy and me go through, we at least expect a Hello and a smile.

By the way, I wouldn’t take too much notice of Border Patrol. It’s a TV programme, Ben. It’s not interested in nice, normal travellers.

Now Customs is technically a different area. But some of the same issues arise. We’ve always found New Zealand customs extremely reasonable. This trip we brought back some lacquered chopsticks and some fully sealed Vietnam lollies. We declared them of course – silly not to – and the customs officer said, ‘no problem’. Didn’t want to check our bags and welcomed us home. Makes such a difference.

BUT check out the Aussie programme Border Security I watched an elderly woman who had mistakenly shoved some bananas, she’d been given on the plane, in her carry bag and didn’t declare them. She had no cash and couldn’t pay the $210 fine. So she had to sit there for hours, till she could arrange payment of the fine. The customs officer was an absolutely heartless and unreasonable harridan. You see a lot of power-driven unreasonableness on the show. Some of these are people who clearly get their jollies from searching through people’s luggage, item by item. There’s a serious purpose in their work of course. Australia’s agriculture sector could be devastated by seemingly innocent plants and insects. But you soon begin to recognise the power trippers.

That’s it in a nutshell, Sophie. And I can’t understand why being an Immigration Officer should be a dull job. Great skill is required in assessing the character and truthfulness of the thousands of people who come through your gate every week. Far from being dull, it strikes me a highly interesting and challenging. It’s also very important indeed. You job, as you say, is probably what you bring to it.

Second point; I suspect that immigration oficers become arseholes because so many of those with whom they deal are arseholes (your good self and JC excepted of course). One only has to watch Border Patrol and similar programmes to realise that it takes enormous self restraint not to Taser most arrivals. I have been behind obnoxious travellers and listened to the way they have talked to the officers. I have been tempted to suggest that the IO gives them a wallop while I turn the other way.

Civility and cordiality work both ways and those who have the misfortune to work with the public and be regarded as ‘menials’ will attest to the fact that it is very hard to keep a smile on one’s face. Perhaps you could expand your media training to include training for the arseholes who make up the general public and teach them how to treat service providers. There is a large section of the general population who are pigs and have the manners of pigs. Those of us who try to be polite to others suffer because of them.