Brian Edwards Media

Why Sisyphus Had An Easier Task Than Heather Roy

Here’s a very simple piece of media advice: there is no point in attempting to defend the indefensible and no point in trying to persuade people that the unbelievable is fact. You will look silly,  your credibility will take a hiding and you may not be forgiven for treating the public as fools.

So if you’re the author of an 82-page dossier vilifying your boss and he finds out and you’re unceremoniously demoted and told to take a hike for a couple of weeks and sort yourself out and you defy your boss by coming back early and he isn’t impressed and treats you like a leper…

Well, if all those things happen, then trying to persuade the media that, even though you don’t take back a word of those 82 pages,  everything is rosy in the garden and you totally support your boss and will be working harmoniously with him ‘going forward’….

Well, it’s just not believable, is it? In fact, I’d say that Sisyphus had an easier task trying to get that bloody rock to the top of the mountain, than Heather Roy has trying to persuade us that she and Rodney will live happily ever after. And if you doubt it, check out these interviews from last night’s telly.

Heather Roy on Close Up

Heather Roy on Campbell Live

 UPDATE 27 AUGUST: Heather and Rodney have kissed and made up. [Not an entirely pleasing image.] They were on telly last night exuding mutual affection. Rodney even said he was sorry for having upset Heather. [Ahhhh. Nice] But in the latest Listener we learn from the undisputed queen of columnists, Jane Clifton, that Heather barely got through her previous televised engagement party with Rodney before fleeing in tears from the chaise longue. None of this bodes well for a long and happy five-in-a-bed.

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24 Comments:

  1. True Brian. But she hasn’t been the only one defending the indefensible.

    Yesterday, while trapped in a surgical waiting room, I had a flat screen telly showing Paul Henry interviewing Rodney Hide inflicted upon me.

    Hide claimed to Henry that everything was rosy in the ACT party, and that Ms Calvert, number six on the ACT party list had been brought to Wellington for some media coaching about the Heather Roy’s demotion. What to say if journalists started asking her questions was the topic discussed, nothing to do with how ready she was to move into a role in the House.

    This was counter to an article in the Tuesday Dom Post, which ran an article on the whole sorry affair that included this passage.

    TV One News reported tonight the next candidate on ACT’s list, Dunedin businesswoman Hilary Calvert, had come to Wellington to talk to party bosses.
    “I have spoken with them to the extent of them having an understanding that if there is an opportunity, then I will step up,” Ms Calvert said.

    And Paul Henry accepted this Hide’s explanation, despite it being counter to Ms Calvert’s statement on the matter to Henry’s own station. It was also counter to common sense – surely the quickest way for a person in Wellington to provide media advice to a person in Dunedin is to use the phone.

  2. BE wrote. Well, it’s just not believable, is it? In fact, I’d say that Sisyphus had an easier task trying to get that bloody rock to the top of the mountain, than Heather Roy has trying to persuade us that she and Rodney will live happily ever after.

    Maybe the moon,which has been held responsible for “lunacy” has just undergone a massive contraction. If this is true, then expert opinion informs us that Brian and Michelle Boag are going to form a political party.(and hell is going to freeze over).

  3. The whole thing reeks of a media promotion.Look how much front page space they have achieved over very little.As Leonard Cohen said ” And there’s a mighty judgement coming but I may be wrong”.

  4. What do you mean media promotion? What on earth would this achieve?
    Rodney can’t dance and Rodney can’t ACT. There has obviously been some disagreement.

  5. ” And there’s a mighty judgement coming but I may be wrong”.
    Leonard Cohen must be an agnostic. Whatever one believes, you can be sure the Greeks had it right with their observations regarding people suffering from hubris. There seems to be some cosmic arse kicking machine out there called bad karma. Just follow the lives of our well known celebrities who qualify.

    • Leonard Cohen must be an agnostic.

      Quite possibly. But if you get the chance to see him while he’s here, snap it up. The concert is simply marvellous.

  6. I think to bring the myth up to date Sisyphus should try rolling Rodney Hide up the hill.

    • I think to bring the myth up to date Sisyphus should try rolling Rodney Hide up the hill.

      But the mental image is emotionally damaging!

  7. Well, you were a lot more kind in your choice of pic, of Heather Roy.

    The Herald pics, I have described — variously — as: “narcotised and disassociated”, “having the forlorn and vacant look of a patient in a Locked Ward”. Their pics were very unflattering. But, Roy, having an odious Rasputin-type confidant with an effete-sounding surname, doesn’t elicit any sympathy from me.

  8. Well, I’ve always seen the ACT Party as nothing more than a brilliant piece of left-wing performance art.

    ACT MPS “Rodney Hide” (in real life, talented young Trotskyite Merseyside actor, Gerard McInnery), “Heather Roy” (former artist-anarchist, Maureen Osthwaite, from the Yorkshire town of Harrogate) and ACT advisor “Simon Ewing-Jarvie” (former Polish pop-sensation, Jertzy Wroklowski), have been participants in what can only be described as one of the most ground-breaking avant-garde projects in the history of Western Art, a rich, on-going satire of Neo-Liberalism and its disfunctional adherents, using a real live political party as its medium.

    But, of course, the real genius behind this whole project is Urghann Mannheim, former doyen of West Berlin’s revolutionary Left. Leaving Berlin in the mid-1960s, Mannheim emigrated to Auckland, suddenly re-inventing himself as a Mr “Roger Douglas” and appearing at a Manurewa Labour Party candidate selection contest in 1966. The rest is history.

    I think you’ll find that – at some point in the next three years – Urghann, Gerard, Maureen, Jertzy and the other performers will reveal all at a press conference in one of Auckland’s more avant-garde art venues. Expect to see this historic event covered in leading art magazines – ART IN AMERICA, ART NEWS and so on.

    And I mean it’s not as if they haven’t been giving us plenty of clues over the last few years ! “Heather’s” frequent witty referencing of the New York “Neo-Geo” art movement of the late 1980s, “Rodney’s” sly allusions to 1960s British Pop art and, of course, the little matter of MP “John Boscawen” delivering a speech at the last General Election with a Cream Lamington on his head – a dead giveaway, surely ?

    I mean, Dada and Surrealism anyone ?

    • Well, I’ve always seen the ACT Party as nothing more than a brilliant piece of left-wing performance art.

      Really enjoyed that, Markus. Thanks.

  9. Blimey, this blog is getting a bit too intellectual for me.

    • Blimey, this blog is getting a bit too intellectual for me.

      The Beano was too intellectual for you, Ben. No, that’s just a cheap shot, both unkind and untrue. But I couldn’t resist. You are after all our most prolific correspondent.

  10. hey Markus you jolly fellow..
    Don’t leave out the surreal and psychedelic Yellow Submarine Jacket and the clever little subversive performance piece where ‘Rodney @ Hyde’ drops his dance partner in time to the music..

  11. You are quite right; the Beano was (is) just about my intellectual level and I can even follow the punctuation.

    I am surprised to learn that I am the blog’s most prolific correspondent. I would have that honour would have had to go to Merv

  12. There’s many a true word spoken in jest.Although I admit never hearing a “(former Polish pop-sensation, Jertzy Wroklowski)” but had heard of a singing Lithuanian Landlord named Jerzy Balowski.
    Improved my day substantially Marcus!Thank you.

  13. @ Cnr Joe: Our boy, Markus, is decamped in a dank basement coffee house; somewhere in Greenwich Village. Wearing his duffle coat and beatnik-type beret, hunched and leg-crossed, puffing a joint while reciting his arrhythmic (but lyrically-dead) poetry. And there’s Bob Dylan music playing in the background.

    He should’ve just said: that, it was eyebrow-raising to see Rod ‘n’ Roy “hugging, squeezing and kissing” themselves into euphoric Togetherness. And it’s all about, Roy, redefining the Intrinsic Soundness of ACT-ing by way of her transparent parodic charade. This, was less to do with Roy rediscovering Party Unity as it was about protecting her “sinecure” by virtue of being an MP.

    Call me, “Cynical”. But, in the words of Lillian Hellman: “Cynicism is an unpleasant way of telling the truth”.

  14. I remember an episode of Yes Minister where Jim Hacker made reference to the use of elbows to keep position within the party as part of the constant infighting. Both Roy and Hide have very large elbows.

    I wonder whether politicians truly like or trust any of their colleagues since there is a constant battle for hierarchy within the party. All that is unusual in the case of Hide and Roy is that the acrimony has become public knowledge.

    I suspect that if you caught Bill English in an unguarded moment his antipathy towards his leader would be equally vitriolic. I doubt whether Goff has any friends in the Labour Party, just circling hyenas! It was common knowledge that Brown and Blair loathed one another and that even extended to their wives!

    I think the very nature of politics makes friendship impossible. So if one accepts that party colleagues generally loathe one another the only concern is whether that loathing prevents their being effective as an individual or as a party. Were I an ACT supporter this spat would not influence me to change my vote. My only wish is that they would not insult my intelligence by pretending that they are now a pair of cooing doves.

  15. “.. by pretending that they are now a pair of cooing doves.”

    But they are. It’s just, every now and then, they’re inclined to crap on each other’s heads. Put it down to a “function of nature”, if you will.

  16. But in the latest Listener we learn from the undisputed queen of columnists, Jane Clifton, that Heather barely got through her previous televised engagement party with Rodney before fleeing in tears from the chaise longue.

    I have every sympathy for Roy, who appears to be trapped until the next election with a workplace bully.

    None of this bodes well for a long and happy five-in-a-bed.

    ACT made its choice about leader and style, and it has to now wear the consequences of a remarkably strained public face. Based on this current behaviour, even if it gets through the next election, ACT will be down to two MPs. Twice as relevant as Peter Dunne.

  17. @Markus – I love it!
    You’ve now cleared up the whole Lamington episode for me. Thank you.

  18. @ Markus: Ad hominem remarks were totally unwarranted. Sorry.

  19. as be would say, get real.whoops, am i putting words into other’s mouths?

  20. If Syphilis was related to Hercules, it would have been a dolly for him to roll the rock up to the top of the mountain.