Brian Edwards Media

The Secret of My Success

Picture: Mark Mitchell/NZ Herald

‘Bugger policies! Bugger Leadership! This really works. (Note to self: Must be careful not to pat kids from Thailand, Saudi Arabia and some Muslim countries on the head. Apparently they think it could damage their souls.  Not sure about Maori and PI kids. Think I heard something about the head being tapu.  Better check with Hone. In the meantime, maybe just pat Pakeha kids on the head. Shake everyone else’s hand. Pity though. Still, better not to offend anyone. So, what was it again? Just pat Pakeha. Just pat Pakeha.)’ 


  1. Could we hear from the kid?

    • Now that’s an interesting question, Hamish. Curiously enough, the photo now doesn’t appear on the Herald’s website. Wonder if John did hear from the kid’s mum or dad or one of his grandparents perhaps. Or maybe he’s already had a call from Hone. Still, lots of Pakeha kids still left to pat. Should be a shoo-in at the election.

  2. He is probably trying to nick the hat.

  3. Note to self – must wear stilts next time I’m on walk about through shopping centre so I don’t have to reach over railings to pat kids heads.

  4. By a tragic coincidence, I happen to live in the Mana electorate. Looks like we’re not going to be able to walk through Porirua City centre over the next few weeks without Key or one of his National Party apparatchiks patting us on the head and offering us sweets.

    On another issue, I think it’s high time I apologised to Merv for initiating the latest flare-up in the on-going punctuation debate. I know you’ve closed correspondence on this, BE. But it was my fault and the whole thing was unwarranted. Sorry about that, Merv.

    And that will be my very last word on the matter.

  5. I too live in Mana. Rest assured Markus, once John Key vanishes, so will the National party presence.

  6. Definitely not fooling that kid!

  7. The kid doesn’t look too happy,he’s probably thinking ‘stranger danger’

  8. I liked this report on Key’s visit, from Andrea Vance in the Dom-Post:

    “He acknowledged adults were keen to talk about the GST increase and income tax cuts, Transmission Gully and crime, but he was happier talking about animals, including his father-in-law’s dog.”

  9. “I find it easier to talk to little kids as they understand my level, but huh! Their Mums and Dads want to to talk about complicated stuff that I don’t understand. Who do they think I am?”

  10. Looks like he’s testing whether the head is soft – then its ripe

  11. I don’t know the full story behind the picture so correct me if I am wrong.
    But, that looks like a boy and John Key is placing a pink hat on the boys head.
    I don’t know if this was a deliberate attempt to have the childs peers tease him as being homosexual which although being wrong is uncalled for and I don’t know why Mr Key would want this, did the child tease him in some way and this was his way of getting revenge ? Distasteful if thats indeed the case.

    • I don’t know the full story behind the picture so correct me if I am wrong. But, that looks like a boy and John Key is placing a pink hat on the boys head.

      The boy is already wearing the hat. Key is merely patting him on the head.

  12. “Hmmm…if I give it a sharp twist to the right, it should come off”