Brian Edwards Media

Posts Tagged 'Cats'

Down With Dogs! (Revisited)



The following letter to the editor appeared in yesterday’s Herald:

In reference to the article about the cat shot near Queenstown, I would like to commend Sergeant Linda Evans for her common-sense handling of the incident. If the owners of cats allow their animals to roam unrestricted over other people’s property, there is no way of telling a pet from a feral one.  This country is infested with cats and it is high time owners were made to register them, put collars on them and keep them in at night. Any others could then be trapped and eradicated. Why should we have to put up with cat excrement being deposited on our lawns, flower beds, and vegetable gardens night after night? The worst offender is the SPCA with its policy of rehoming the thousands of unwanted cats each year. Cats are flea-ridden and carry disease that is harmful to humans. It is time they were controlled and their owners made to take responsibility for their pets, the way dog owners are. Pip Worliedge, Tauranga

I will come to what Mr/Ms Warlike has written later. But first, my Burmese cats, Max and Felix, have requested that I avenge this slight on their species by republishing  a column I wrote years ago when Judy and I were living in Eastbourne. It is called Down with Dogs! Read the rest of this entry »


How To Give A Cat A Pill (A little light relief!)

cat_rain1Among the many qualities which I admire in my wife is her courage. True, she cannot climb a ladder, remove a dead mouse from a trap or dispose of a weta, but she is able to give a cat a pill. And I don’t mean hide the pill in a bowl of Jellimeat or scrunch it up with some yummy topside mince. I mean that she is able to prise open the cat’s mouth, place a pill at the back of its tongue, then close its  mouth again and stroke its throat, so that it swallows the pill.

I was reminded of this particular skill when our lovely Burmese cat, Max, returned home yesterday limping and looking sad. He’d been in a fight with the ginger tom next door and had a gaping wound in one of his front paws. Time for antibiotics. JUDY!!!!!

There is of course a knack to giving a cat a pill, just as there is a knack to crocodile wrestling, lion taming and bomb-disposal. The problem is that the knack can only be obtained by trial and error and, in the case of giving a cat a pill, the error part has unwelcome consequences, the commonest being lacerations to the hands and face, sometimes requiring hospitalisation. Small wonder that grown men and the occasional vet blanch at the thought of giving a cat a pill.

My wife was taught to give a cat a pill by the excellent Ponsonby vet after I had explained that I suffered from a rare tropical disease, contracted in the Amazon rainforest, which makes me fatally allergic to feline lacerations. Quite simply, I would die if a cat scratched me. I mention this only because I do not want it thought that I am some sort of pathetic wimp, too chicken to pop a pill down the throat of a pussycat. But if I were, there would be no shame in it. Where pussy- pill-popping is concerned, the world is full of chickens, as the following instructions, which circulated on the Internet some years ago, clearly demonstrate: Read the rest of this entry »