Dear TV reporters, sports commentators and presenters,           

I want to let you into a little-known secret:  that thing you’ve got pinned to your lapel or clutched in your hand – that’s what we call a microphone.  A microphone is a magical device for picking up sound, and the sound it picks up best is the sound that is closest to it – your voice. 

So even if you’re surrounded by roaring crowds, or the camera is across the road, YOU DON’T NEED TO SHOUT, because your microphone is only centimetres away from your mouth.

It is bizarre to witness people who appear to be right in front of you yelling their heads off. Bizarre, annoying, unprofessional and totally unnecessary. It’s even weirder when it’s interspersed with voice-over commentary at a normal level. Read the rest of this entry »

New Zealand vowels are becoming more centralised.  Oh, really (yawn), who knew?  Actually, this less-than-riveting piece of information explains quite a lot about the way our accent has shifted.

The most noticeable change, and the one most often commented on, is that most Kiwis pronounce “i” (as in “it) as if it were “uh” (as in “the”).  So you get the infamous “fush and chups” that Seedneesiders find so hilarious.

In spoken English lightly pronounced, unaccented vowels revert to this neutral “uh” sound, the schwa. That is, with the exception of “i”. So while rugged will be pronounced as “ruggud”, rigid should be pronounced as “rijid”. Except here, where you’ll hear it rendered almost universally as “rijud” or even “rujud”. And it would seem that none of us is immune.  Listen to our newsreaders.  With the exception of those on National Radio, the “i” sound is as flat as a pancake. Read the rest of this entry »

There are quite a few TV programmes you can watch without the sound and not miss a thing.  It even improves the comprehensibility of some of them. Unfortunately Rapid Response isn’t one of these programmes.  Unfortunately?  Yes, because the true love of Brian’s life, our wide-screen TV, is in danger of being smashed by a large and heavy object every time I have to listen to the commentary on the programme.   Read the rest of this entry »

I blame it on Shortland Street!  Once we learned to regard New Zild as an acceptable way of speaking, there was no stopping us.  Our accent has become stronger and more differentiated by the year.

As a student of linguistics I’m fascinated by the changes in our natural accent; as a voice coach I’m less enthusiastic.  It’s not the accent that bothers me, it’s what we’re doing to it.

New Zealand voices, particular those of young women, are becoming increasingly and unpleasantly nasal. This annoying nasal twang is epidemic in young female news reporters on television; Fran Dresler from The Nanny is positively mellifluent in comparison. Even one or two of our female newsreaders sound as though they have terminal sinusitis. Read the rest of this entry »